The power of being all in

One of the things that really humbled me recently around , end of 2020 , is the realization that I am often doing many things in my life halfhearted. I’m not really all in. When I reflected back , I realized I have hardly lived all in with anything. The things I seemed to be all in was by force or peer pressure. Either I’m jumping from one thing to another or doing nothing. I remember telling myself I’m going to change this.

When I spoke to a few my friends about this , I realized this wasn’t really only my problem.

One of the main reasons was lack of faith. We don’t think we can do it. We don’t think we’re strong enough. We have lots of evidence that we will screw it up, based on past experience. We don’t trust ourselves.

In friendships or relationships , We don’t trust the other person. We fear what they really think of us, we think they’ll abandon or hurt us, or let us down. Yet again.

We don’t think we can work out the hard problems. They feel overwhelming, too complex, to out of our control. We hate not having full control. It’s easier to escape. But it leaves our full heart, our full power, way behind.

I spent time telling myself what would being all in look like.

Here are something’s I told myself

• Deeper commitment creating deeper trust within myself
• The best results I’m capable of.
• I’ll be able to shift some of those things I think I can’t do or be or have.
• Healthier relationships , with more trust on myself because I’m not abandoning myself
• A realization that I may not need the exit door in many situations.
• Deeper devotion to everything I care about.

Meditation and mindfulness practices came to be very useful. Part of keeping commitment is remove the resistance. I spent a lot of 2021 recognizing places where I fail myself and not give it my all. If you’ve lived something for long it becomes more unconscious and stubborn. It requires a lot of awareness and reprogramming. Like that child which simply isn’t interested in what you are asking of it.

I can safely say from 2022 onwards my life has improved for the better. Increased faith and clarity is what I’m really working towards. With practice , it’s become more and more easier to be all in. But it’s many a times WIP